some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
