Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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