I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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