are you still at the devil's house?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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