Please, let me fuck your mom
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
