yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
