Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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