WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
