I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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