i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
