i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
