She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
