O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
