:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize