Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
