it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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