So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
