butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize