How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize