As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize