And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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