Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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