I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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