He is such a slut. More and more my type.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
