my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
