i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
