So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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