I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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