Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I deserve this hangover.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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