On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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