she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
