today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
