Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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