Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's always time for handjobs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
