are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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