I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
