Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
