Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
