ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
