I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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