i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
