Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
