Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
