Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
