508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
