i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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