I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize