everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
