i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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