that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
