I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't deserve a penis
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
