Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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