Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
