try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
