I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
