first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
