before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
