what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
