Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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