Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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