You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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