I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
