i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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