Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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