Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the day after is always just damage control
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
